December adventures (better late than never)

The last month of 2011 was a blur, but here's my best effort to remember the highlights (probably not in order, but close enough).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Bitty got into a fight with a wall and lost. Ok, really he was running one direction and looking in another direction (as he often does, despite continual reminders not to run in the house at all), and cut his head when he ran right into a corner on the wall. So we spent one chilly Friday night at the urgent care clinic and Bitty had to get two staples in his head (they couldn't use the glue since the cut was in his hair). It was a little traumatic, but he calmed down pretty quick once it was over.

When Bitty and I got home from the doctor that night, Cuddlebug took one look at Bitty's head and said, "ewww, can't you make him wear a hat?" Bearhug asked me how long he'd have to have the staples in, and when I told him two weeks he groaned and said, "aww man! now I have to be nice to him for two whole weeks!" LOL, brotherly love :).

For the most part, Bitty handled it well over the two weeks he had the staples in, although at one point he got tired of feeling them there when he touched his head and asked me where the staple remover was... I made sure it was somewhere he couldn't find it, just in case.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cuddlebug and Bearhug discovered Chuck Norris jokes. You've probably heard some of them:

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
All men are created equal, except Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onions cry.
The GPS asks Chuck Norris for directions.
The boogeyman checks his closet and under his bed for Chuck Norris every night.

You get the idea :). I love that the boys find these so funny, and even downloaded an app full of these jokes so I could tell the boys. We've had a lot of fun trying to come up with new ones to make them laugh too :).

On Christmas Eve when I was trying to get them to go to sleep, I told them Santa can't deliver anything until they are asleep. They told me "Santa doesn't deliver presents, Chuck Norris does!" Well, Chuck Norris can't deliver anything until they are asleep either! ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The last few years Bearhug and Cuddlebug have made a tradition of bringing their blankets and pillows downstairs to have a "sleepover" by the Christmas tree, but this year we had to talk them out of it because we got them a computer and a desk that we needed to bring in and set up for them and we didn't want to risk them waking up and seeing it. We had it at our neighbor's house (he doesn't have kids and offered to let us store presents there so they wouldn't find them) and would have to walk right by them if they were in front of the tree. So we made them a deal, if they would agree to sleep in their bedroom, we'd agree to get up as soon as they woke us up in the morning, without the usual stalling ;).

They agreed. And we were prepared to wake up at the crack of dawn.

So we were surprised when Christmas morning came and Bitty was the only one up (he's always the first one up). We slept in a little, and then finally decided to get up and take a shower, figuring CB and BH would be up any minute. But as it turned out, we had plenty of time and were hanging out downstairs waiting when they finally came downstairs. Lucky for us, Bitty was content to go about his usual vacation morning routine (he likes to play games on the computer before his brothers wake up when he can play without being bothered) and he didn't make a fuss about opening the presents or trying to wake his brothers up (if he had, we would have let him wake them up... after all I don't think they would have minded). I guess that's what happens when you stay up almost all night waiting for Santa (er, Chuck Norris).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a Lego Christmas at our house. In fact there was one particular train that Bitty asked for (at the last minute of course) that we had to jump through flaming hoops to actually get (long story) but we did manage to pull it off just in time. :)

The Lego instruction books are great - no words, just pictures that show step by step what goes on next. Bitty was able to follow them pretty well by himself, although all of us (including Cuddlebug and Bearhug) were more than willing to help :). It was like a Lego party, with everyone building together. Very fun :).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We made cookies :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bearhug and Cuddlebug made a time machine for school. It was part of a group project on persuasive writing where they wrote and filmed a commercial to sell an item (they chose to sell a time machine).

Read More >>

School / IEP update for Bitty

A while back I posted about some of the difficulties Bitty has been having in school.

Shortly before Thanksgiving, we had a meeting with the school to review his IEP and discuss changes to help better meet his needs. We learned that he was basically requiring almost constant one-on-one support from the resource teacher / parapros in his class which isn't really what they are set up to do. The challenge comes down to communication - if the subject is straightforward and doesn't require much verbal explanation he does great. Spelling, for example. He is a spelling kung fu master :). On the other hand, any subjects or new topics that require verbal explanation are quite difficult, not because he can't understand the subject matter, but because he struggles with language. He's a fast learner and that has helped him to keep up as well as he has, but the whole situation was really stressing him out because he recognized that most of his classmates did not share his struggle to understand what was being said, or what was being asked when the teacher would ask questions.

His teachers suggested he might do better in a smaller class setting, at least for the core subjects, and we agreed to put him in a self-contained ASD class for part of the day (almost half the day when you add up the hours) for math, reading, and writing. For the rest of the subjects he is still in his regular ed class with resource support. It's a much smaller class where all the kids have similar issues and the teachers have the flexibility to tailor to the kids' pace and individual needs much more than in the larger classroom. They also do activities like morning yoga since the physical activity helps the kids focus for learning (honestly, I think all kids would probably benefit from something like that, not just kids on the spectrum). We'll reassess later this year when we update his IEP for next year.

He started in his new class after the Thanksgiving break and so far it is really working out well. His anxiety level is considerably less, he no longer cries about having to go to school and he is doing well academically. He's back to getting all 1's on his daily reports (they have a scale from 1-4 for how he does at staying on task and following instructions with minimal reminders, etc.). It's been hard to see him struggle so much, and although I wish it wasn't so hard for him I'm grateful he's getting the support he needs and relieved that he's back to feeling positive about school.

Read More >>

Little Bitty and Talkin' Santa

Dh found a talking Santa app for his phone, basically it repeats back whatever you say and Bitty LOVES it. I love his laugh, and the way he pronounces "talkin'" :).

Read More >>

End of November: Getting ready for Christmas

Found this in my drafts from 11/27, apparently I left it unposted until I could upload the pictures to go with it, and then forgot about it. Can't believe it's been a month since I posted!

----------------------------

Sometimes it's nice to get a break from the routine, even if we do pay a price for it (it's always such an ordeal to get back into the routine once it's been disrupted, especially for Bitty).

The boys had the whole week this past week off from school, so I took some time off from work too. We already had Thursday and Friday off, so I took an extra day and a half so I could spend some time with the boys.

We mostly spent the time getting ready for the holidays, both Thanksgiving and Christmas. We had a few days of really nice weather (for November anyway) so dh put up all the lights outside and picked up a few new decorations for the yard. He gets something new every year, and I'm starting to see how people can end up with their yard and house literally FULL of decorations... somehow I have a feeling that will be us at some point if he keeps this up :).

Tuesday night we planned to pick up our tree, but it started pouring rain, so we waited until Wednesday. We opted to skip the tree farm this year and keep it simple, so we went to Lowe's.

Bitty actually helped us pick out a tree:

Meanwhile, Bearhug and Cuddlebug were wired and couldn't stand still long enough. They ran circles around the tree section...

...and played with the big carts while we looked for the perfect Christmas tree.

Like father, like son... both wearing jackets with their shorts (it wasn't all that cold in the sun, but a little chilly in the shade)

They actually stood still for this one... is it just me, or are they getting big way to fast?!

We found some new Christmas CD's on sale so when we got home with the tree we put those on and blasted Christmas music while Bitty and I decorated the tree. Dh was outside putting the finishing touches on the yard, with the door open so he could hear the music (it was chilly but not too cold to leave the door wide open). Bearhug and Cuddlebug helped him a bit but then returned to their computer games (having "suffered" an afternoon at the stores rather than playing, lol).

It was wonderful having my family all at home, even if two were busy with their games, listening to the same Christmas music from my childhood, appreciating all the adorable handmade ornaments the boys have made over the years as we unpacked them. Bitty even let me sing along, which is R-A-R-E. If you'd ever heard me sing, you'd know why none of the boys ever let me sing out loud (haha), but Bitty is particularly vocal about not wanting to hear anyone sing so I was pleasantly surprised when he didn't start screeching for me to stop. Maybe the CD was loud enough to drown me out :). Maybe he was too busy thinking about the Christmas train that was waiting in its box... I told him we'd set it up as soon as the tree was done.

I was busy trying to put hooks on the ornaments fast enough to keep up with Bitty, and I had to laugh when I looked up to see this (despite the ladder which he has no qualms about climbing up on):

It got to be bedtime, so I finished the ornaments after he went to bed (spreading them out just a bit, lol). We also set up the much-awaited Christmas train so it was ready and waiting when he woke up the next morning.

Of course the first sound we heard the next morning was the little train's engine as it circled the tree. :)

He did express his disapproval of dh's ornaments though, which we put on after he was already in bed.

But dh and I are quite the nerds when it comes to Star Trek, so the ornaments are staying whether Bitty approves or not, and he (thankfully) decided to let it go :). (that second one is a Borg cube that says something along the lines of "Enjoy your holiday, resistance is futile" LOL)

Bearhug loves them, I joked about having almost the entire Federation battling it out on our tree and he got this huge grin and started in with the sound effects :).

And of course no tree of ours would be complete without Longhorn Santa :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas, I miss everyone and am hoping to catch up soon!

Read More >>

Sweetness

Little Bitty actually sleeps in his own bed these days (that was a several-years-long process) but he likes for me to stay with him until he falls asleep. On the rare days that I try to just tuck him in and not climb in next to him, he reminds me, "you wan' to sweep wif me." He's just too cute, and I know I'm going to miss this time when he's older (I already do with Cuddlebug and Bearhug) so I just go with it :).

Anyway, so tonight I was laying there next to him, waiting for him to go to sleep when he reached over and put his little arm around me, patted me on the back and said, "I wuv you."

Heart MELT!!!!

It is SOOO rare for him to say that out of the blue like that, every now and then he says it back when I tell him (which of course I tell him all the time, his response is usually a smile).

I hugged him and told him, "you are SO sweet!"

To which he responded, "I DO wook sweet!"

I couldn't help but laugh because it was so cute the way he said it (reminded me of when Bearhug used to respond to my telling him he was cute by saying, "I AM cute!" lol).

Not sure how to interpret my laugh, he asked me, "aww you jus' kidding?" (he asks that because we joke a lot at our house and he knows that laughter is a cue that someone is kidding).

"No, I'm not kidding. You ARE sweet."

He smiled and rolled over, snuggling in his blankies.

He's sleeping now, I definitely wanted to write this down right away because it's one of those happy moments that I want to always remember in detail :).

Read More >>

Backyard photo session

We took the boys to have their pictures done (we haven't done that in two years, because it is such an ordeal).

Despite talking with the photographer ahead of time to give them a heads up about the boys' issues and the fact that it generally takes some extra time and patience to get some decent pictures of them, it didn't go so well.

She tried, but made it kind of a chore and the boys ended up having an "off" day and weren't being particularly cooperative.

I decided to try taking some myself instead. I have friends who do their own photo sessions with their kids around town and was inspired by their pictures. I knew we probably couldn't anything so elaborate as actually go somewhere to take pictures, but we have some pretty trees out behind our house so I figured that would work with minimal time and effort (not that I mind spending the time, but I'm trying to work with the boys' attention span which is especially short for stuff like pictures).

Cuddlebug and Bearhug really don't do well with "posing" for pictures, they are constantly in motion. I typically use the "continuous shooting" mode on my camera to take several shots in a row as they are doing their thing, and hope that one of them turns out with decent focus, nice expressions and looking in the general direction of the camera (you might be surprised how often they are looking at the sky or everywhere BUT the camera!).

Narrowed down from the MANY that I actually took, here are a few of my favorites :).

Bearhug

Cuddlebug

...and some of the sillier ones, lol :). I love the pure joy in their faces, and that they have so much fun together.

In exchange for their cooperation, I agreed to take a picture of Rex too :).

Bearhug and Cuddlebug weren't up for doing pictures together with Bitty, so I did his separately. He refused to wear his white shirt (I got them all matching shirts for pictures and thought the white looked good with the colorful trees in the background) so I let him wear what he had on rather than push my luck. It was at least a nice shirt that he'd worn to school, and not one of his Thomas shirts with the chewed up neckline...

He is a little more mellow (at least when he's by himself) so I didn't need to shoot rapid-fire to get these. I did try to say funny things to get a more natural smile (his "cheese" grin is cute but intense, lol).

I have a lot to learn about photography (both taking pictures and editing them), but these guys are my motivation to keep trying :). I really like the fall colors, but the evergreen trees nearby made a nice background too, I'm thinking I might try to get some pictures of all three of them by those trees to send out for Christmas :).

Read More >>

1 in 8 babies is born to soon...

Today is Prematurity Awareness Day.

To learn more, visit the March of Dimes.

Click here to read our NICU story (Cuddlebug and Bearhug were born 6 1/2 weeks early due to severe pre-eclampsia).

Here's a repost of my earlier prematurity awareness post (slightly edited):

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you know that 1 in 8 babies is born prematurely in the U.S.? In approximately 40% of cases, the cause of premature labor is unknown, and it can happen to anyone. I have shared our story before about Cuddlebug and Bearhug's premature birth, but I think it's worth examining what a difference it makes when a baby is able to be born full term. In contrast with his brothers being born 6 1/2 weeks early, Little Bitty was born 1 1/2 weeks late. Being pregnant with him a full 8 weeks longer felt like FOREVER in comparison, lol, but of course it was well worth every minute because I knew he was where he needed to be (and unlike the situation with CB and BH, it was safe for him to remain in the womb).

What a difference those 8 weeks made! Here is a comparison of their footprints:


I scanned them all together so they would be proportionally accurate. Every time I look at these I'm just amazed at how tiny Cuddlebug's foot was compared with Little Bitty's. The size disparity between Cuddlebug and Bearhug was due to TTTS.

In addition to their sizes, here are some other differences we experienced between our twins' premature birth and the full-term delivery of our youngest. I only have my own experience to draw from, so this may not be applicable to everyone, but I'm sharing it to highlight some of the benefits of full-term delivery and why prematurity awareness is so important.

1. Being able to hold your baby right away. We had to wait 8 days before we could hold Bearhug for the first time, and 2 days before we could hold Cuddlebug. I was able to hold Little Bitty within the first few minutes after he was born. It was an amazing experience!

2. Being able to bring your baby home with you. Cuddlebug and Bearhug spent 22 days in the NICU before we were able to bring them home. Some premature babies stay much longer, depending on how early they are born and their health. Some preemies have medical challenges ranging from mild to severe, while others just need a little extra time to grow.

3. Getting a little more sleep at night. Like most newborns, Little Bitty woke up to eat about every 3 hours when he first came home. Because of their small size, Bearhug and Cuddlebug couldn't hold enough food in their stomachs to last 3 hours and needed to eat about every 1 1/2 hours. Add to that the fact that the effort they had to put into eating often wore them out before they were full, and sometimes we didn't even make a whole hour before they needed to eat again. That's a recipe for exhaustion for mom and dad (although well worth it of course!).

4. Less susceptible to illness. Cuddlebug and Bearhug needed 6 months of RSV shots as a precaution since they'd had respiratory distress early on. We had to be very careful about taking them out and having visitors. We were cautious with Little Bitty also, but the risk level for full-term babies is generally not as high.


The March of Dimes has more on why getting at least 39 weeks is best for babies if at all possible. Did you know the March of Dimes is responsible for leading the call to develop Neonatal Intensive Care Units (NICU)? They also funded the research that led to the use of surfactant to treat respiratory distress syndrome (RDS). They have had many other successes as well, but for those two reasons especially, I will be eternally grateful to them!





If you enjoyed this post, get free updates by email or RSS.

Read More >>

Sibling stuff and autism

Things have been a little rough these last few months on the sibling front. Cuddlebug and Bearhug are quick to get frustrated with Little Bitty, and for his part, Bitty has a tendency to "egg on" their frustration at times.

Some of their frustration is legitimate. They don't understand why he often doesn't seem to listen to any of us and just goes about doing whatever he wants. He often has little regard for consequences as he doesn't always make the connection to his behavior. They don't understand why he ignores them when they try to teach him things, or why he asks them the same questions over and over (and over).

Some of it is just typical sibling stuff - like most little brothers he wants to be like them and do the things that they do. At the same time, many of his interests are "immature" from their perspective and they love giving him a hard time about liking Mickey Mouse or Olivia (not that he cares).

Although his pretend play skills were a long time in coming, he has developed quite a knack for incorporating pretend into his daily life, even if most of it is scripted. For example, when he needs something he'll say, "Eveebuddy say, 'Oh TOOO-DLES!' Oh TOOO-DLES! We nee' some MOUSKETOOLS!!" Just like on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (one of his latest favorites).

Meanwhile Bearhug, and especially Cuddlebug, are not particularly fond of pretending in general, with few exceptions. One of which is their dinosaur pillow-pets, they have created an entire mythology / history around where their dinosaurs come from and actually the two pillow pets often represent a whole collection of dinosaurs (but of course we can only ever see one of them at a time) :). They are constantly harping on Bitty that Mickey Mouse isn't real, there's no such thing as Mouseketools, etc.

If Bitty happens to say something that isn't 100% technically accurate, they will correct him to no end, which he readily ignores and that only makes them more ornery. They get upset with me if I don't continually correct him. I try to remind them that he is only 6... that he likes to pretend and that he doesn't understand as much as they do.

And let's face it, the frustration isn't all undeserved. Bitty tends to get physical with them (he can be a bit of a bully, and has no regard for the fact that they're twice his size), and he screeches loudly anytime they do anything he doesn't like (or if he even THINKS they're going to do something he doesn't like). Sometimes when they are actually trying to help him with something he just screams at them.

We've talked about the fact that he has autism, just like we've talked with them about their autism. One time when I reminded them of that and said something along the lines of "kind of like both of you" and they got indignant with me, "NOT like US!!" I tried to explain that it affects everyone a little differently and that he is more affected by it than they are but they were skeptical.

I didn't bring it up again, mostly I just remind them when they complain about how he's not doing this or that, that we're working on it and that it takes time. They love to point out that they were doing XYZ (fill in the blank) when they were his age, at which point I acknowledge that yes, they were further along at his age in some ways, but that everyone learns in their own time.

Fast forward to more recently... and I overheard this conversation in the back of the car:

Cuddlebug: "'Bitty' has WAAAYYY more autism than us!"
Bearhug: "yeah, but everyone has a little bit of autism."
Cuddlebug: "yeah, we told 'P' that she has autism too because everyone has a little bit of autism but she didn't believe us."

LOL. I asked where they heard that and they said Ms. D. told them. I told them she's right, everyone does have "a little bit of autism" in some ways, but that not everyone knows that, so people may not always believe them if they try to tell them that. I didn't discourage them from talking about it with other kids though, I want them to feel comfortable and open about doing that so they can advocate for themselves as they get older.

Anyway, I've been struggling with how to handle this. I want Cuddlebug and Bearhug to feel comfortable expressing their frustration rather than keeping it all inside. I don't discourage them from expressing their frustration (to a point) because I worry that may only lead to resentment. At the same time it hurts to see them so hard on him and him so indifferent. I want them to all be close, but I know I can't force it and need to let them develop their relationship in their own way.

Dh had another talk with them the other day and it seems to have maybe clicked this time. Leave it to him to find a way to explain the same thing I've been trying to tell them in a way that apparently makes more sense :). He told them that because of Bitty's developmental delays (pretty sure he didn't use that exact term) that Bitty's behavior and understanding of a lot of things is more like a 4-yr-old. So he's "like a 4-yr-old in a 6-yr-old body." THAT made sense to them, and they repeated it back to me when I got home (dh had already given me a heads up about their conversation).

While I'm not sure I love the idea of them going around telling people their little brother is a 4-yr-old in a 6-yr-old body, and I'm not sure how Bitty feels about that (or if he understands it, because I'm sure he's heard it now that his brothers have repeated it several times) the concept does seem to be helping in terms of his brothers being more patient and understanding toward him.

We'll see how it goes.

I'd love to hear any ideas you may have. How have you explained autism to your children from a sibling perspective, especially if you have kids who fall into different "areas" of the spectrum?

Read More >>

Snippets

Just a few brief updates from the past few weeks, mostly from FB / Twitter, to keep them all in one place:


11/13/11
when we took the boys to the store last weekend CB & BH were complaining LOUDLY about all the Christmas decorations being out and wanting to know why there weren't big Thanksgiving displays. Cuddlebug just shook his head and told me, "I guess Thanksgiving just isn't what it used to be" LOL

11/10/11
21 yrs ago tonight I went on a 1st date with my secret crush... pretty sure it's not a secret anymore :)
that would be dh, in case it wasn't obvious ;)

11/6/11
I'd like to thank the shampoo company for featuring the word "body" in big letters on the bottle... Bitty noticed tonight at bathtime and before I could stop him was using it to wash his body. I tried to show him it's for HAIR not body but oddly enough, the word "hair" is nowhere to be found on the bottle, not even the fine print. References to volume, style, shine, and of course BODY, but not one mention of "hair." Good luck convincing him that's what it's for... he probably questions whether Mom can read at this point... (sigh)
...
grateful for pretend play skills - had to remind myself of that as Bitty was engrossed in re-enacting Garfield and Looney Tunes today at church... not the appropriate time or place, especially since he kept loudly announcing his intention to live in a trash can (Garfield episode with an alley cat) but the desire and ability to engage in pretend at all was a long time coming! :)


11/5/11
told Bitty he should wear pants today b/c it's getting chilly out, he didn't believe me so I said it's November, that means it's winter, and big brothers were quick to correct me, the first day of winter is in December. sigh. technically they are right of course.
...
thankful for dh, he is the best! ♥


11/4/11
today I am thankful for teachers who "get" autism and go out of their way to help our boys


11/3/11
I am thankful for my family, they are my life! I am thankful for the Savior and His atonement. thankful that I am mostly resisting the leftover Halloween candy so far (I said MOSTLY, lol)


10/29/11
Costumes are done, boys are happy, it was SO worth the effort to see them so excited! Now it's naptime for me :)


10/23/11
Just got to cuddle with Cuddlebug on the couch for a few min, so glad he's not too old for that... happy tears :)


10/22/11
overheard a little boy ask Bitty his name at the park today. It took him a second but he actually answered him with no prompting from me (yay!)... and with his real name (double yay!). of course a second later he changed his mind and told the boy his name was Mickey (latest fav character is Mickey Mouse, lol).


10/21/11
we saw a family of 4 deer this morning :)
...
Bearhug: "I think the moral of the story 'Don't Cry Wolf' is don't live in a place near where there are wolves..." hehe
...
proud of Bitty, he's been struggling at school lately but he had a good day today


10/20/11
battle of the pants going better this year... battle of the coats? not so much :/
...
only a little over a week to finish sewing Bearhug's Halloween costume... ack! hopefully will get a lot done this weekend.


10/8/11
asked Bearhug to come upstairs... instead Cuddlebug appeared, told me BH was busy killing zombies (game) so he came instead. lol


9/25/11
Helping Bitty make booklets on PowerPoint... he loves it :)


9/24/11
Bearhug: "I read that 'Zombie survival guide' and now my heart is beating very rapidly!" I love the way he phrases things :). Guess he found it on the bookshelf and read a little bit of it. I assured him zombies aren't real and he asked, "how do YOU know?!"

(he and Cuddlebug have since read more of the book and Cuddlebug informed me, "It's saving our lives!" I guess they'll be ready in the event of a zombie apocalypse...)


9/16/11
dh said ppl keep asking him if he's on twitter so they can follow him. his response "I don't get twitter...follow me where?" ROFL

Read More >>